Comments on: I like to move it, move it

By: My Twin

My Twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:55:00 +0000

You are so next level it is ridiculous.

By: Magdalena

Magdalena — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:52:00 +0000

That was beautiful. Poetic, even. Especially when contrasted with the Ape, who has the emotional and mental capacity of a trailer. A haiku:

Your mind is double-wide
my heart so full
never again with that Ape.

But the best part was that my other guests had no clue as to the identity of Pat Golliver, and assumed we were out of our minds. Not that that's an incorrect assumption most of the time, but this time, we were sort of making sense. In our own, special way.

By: My Twin

My Twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:48:00 +0000

have you looked up Andi Page yet?

By: My Twin

My Twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:43:00 +0000

I can’t hardly believe (can hardly believe? - that always confuses me) that the show was canceled. So many people need to start over. I need to start over. Oooh, just had a good idea for a new show - “Starting over with Farrah Golliver”.

Remember last night when we were talking about Pat’s and my trailer home but how Pat has the emotional and mental capacity of a mansion? That was really beautiful.

By: Magdalena

Magdalena — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:37:00 +0000

I just checked on Netflix - no Starting Over, the daily life-affirming reality show. Starting Over, the feature film starring people I have no heard of and have no interest in, yes.

There are so many “handsome” (I’m being charitable, here) women in this office, that I hesitate to even guess. Just in my wing of the office alone there are 3 or 4 “women” that match that description. And that’s not even taking into account the vagrants that often wander into the office in search of legal representation after their shopping carts were rounded up by Ralph’s or Albertson’s security.

By: My Twin

My Twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:34:00 +0000

Well would a man be so bold as to walk into the ladies bathroom?? Unless of course s/he was a she-man!!! Who do you think the she-man is? Norma????

By: Magdalena

Magdalena — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:30:00 +0000

Her feet wouldn’t be facing the wrong direction if…

SHE WAS A MAN.

By: My Twin

My Twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:28:00 +0000

Do you think we can order Starting Over on netflix???

By: My twin

My twin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:25:00 +0000

Is it odd that in my last days of work here at our fine law firm, that I find myself wanting to steal toilet paper and the like? This came up yesterday as I was sitting in the handicapped stall. Generally I prefer the normal person stall, but it was occupied. I hate it when that happens, don’t you? I feel very put upon. Further, the idiot in the normal person stall was taking FOREVER, which I thought was rude. When you hear someone else come into the bathroom, you should hurry up and leave. Group bathrooms are weird to begin with, so everyone should do their part to make them as private as possible by getting the hell out of there when someone else comes in. And, in this instance, there was no excuse for it. The woman in the normal stall wasn’t even using the stall in the way it was intended. How do I know? Because her feet were facing the wrong direction. How do I know? Because I looked god damnit. I looked because I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t you in the next stall because it is fucked up enough that one engage in bathroom activities with strangers, but with my own twin, I think not. Anyway, I have digressed. My point is, I’m sitting there, thinking of stealing some toilet paper while freakshow is in the other stall, and thinking why it is I’d want to do that, when suddenly she leaves and I forget all about it (insert fish face). Until right now that is. Because I just went into the bathroom and I found myself eyeing the air freshener. Weird right?

By: Magdalena

Magdalena — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:20:00 +0000

Oh, that’s right. I remember telling that story on one of our oceanside walks, as a parable that you should learn from for your own life.

You’re forgetting, however, that there ARE three of you - I still have to give Matt and Pat their allowances. And don’t think I enjoy the power I have over the household. No, it’s not fun being the only responsible adult, I can tell you that. Do you think I enjoy listening to all of your whining? For the last time, My Twin, you’re not getting a horse, Pat, you’re not getting the Prada frames, and Matt, I’m not paying for a personal trainer so you can just sit and watch daytime TV on the stationary bikes. It wouldn’t kill the three of you to take some initiative now and again, instead of hanging around my room, waiting for your mansion welfare. If you wanted to make yourself useful, you could get mama some Vicodin for her headache. Perhaps then you’d see an increase in your allowance.